Wait – You’ve Never Seen Star Wars!? What Happens When a 28 Year Old Watches Star Wars for the First Time

Yes, it’s true. I somehow made it to 28 years of life on this planet without seeing Star Wars. I have been known to geek out on plenty of other fictional worlds – Harry Potter, Back to the Future, etc. – but Star Wars was never on my radar. Probably because my little sister thought it was cool or something.

So here’s what goes through the head of a 28-year-old woman watching Star Wars: A New Hope for the first time:

  • It’s a good thing I got glasses to read this introduction.
  • Oh! They fire lasers! Pew! Pew!
  • “You overweight glob of grease!” – I think C3PO is my favorite
  • Oh wow, Leia is hot.
  • Oh wow, Leia needs a braaa!
  • Wait… is this movie about politics?7_zps03c39b40
  • Yeah, C3PO is definitely my favorite.
  • Ummm, are those baby monks?
  • Sooooo where’s Harrison Ford?
  • Whoa, George, those CGI additions aren’t fooling anyone.
  • “I am well-versed in protocol” – Oh, C3PO, can we be best friends?tumblr_ljuuvyVrx01qbe7jeo1_r2_500
  • Luke is kind of a whiny bitch.
  • Two moons!? I want two moons!
  • God, this soundtrack is incredible. John Williams sits at a piano and practically shits Oscars.
  • Does Aunt Beru wear the same outfit everyday?
  • C3PO just lost his arm!! Oh my God, this is the trauma of watching the Scarecrow get torn apart all over again.
  • Whoa! That light saber turns on quick. Seems like something you should totally hand over to a kid with no training.untitled-15
  • “The Force” – that sounds like quite a spiritual definition.
  • Holy crap! Is that the charred remains of the aunt and uncle? Luke seemed to get over that pretty quickly.
  • Dang, George, this movie moves kinda slow
  • Whoa… I want to be in the mind of the people who designed the creatures in the bar – especially the one with balls on his face.Aqualish_AA
  • Han Solo premieres and every woman thanked the good Lord.
  • Oh my God, Jabba looks like my winter body goals.
  • Soooo, they all just understand each others’ jibberish? What a beautiful world.
  • They just destroyed a whole planet. Like a whole effing planet.alderaannavy_fullpic_2
  • So who’s in charge here? That creepy governor dude is giving orders to Vader? I thought Darth Vader was like the ultimate bad guy.
  • Oh Han speaks and I get a tingly feeling.
  • Garbage water. Gross.
  • God, Leia is badass. I think I found a new role model.
  • That good luck kiss is all Luke’s ever dreamed of. This is grossing me out.
  • Has anyone ever thought how funny filming must have looked without the lightsabers?
  • Those shooting chairs look awesome. Can I get one for my desk?
  • When do Luke and Leia find out they’re brother and sister? I’m seriously creeped out.
  • Their computer interfaces look like the first Oregon Trail game. I love it.
  • Han Solo is a rude, self-centered egomaniac. So… every guy I’ve dated.
  • They keep saying “shaft” and I keep giggling.
  • Of course the fat fighter pilot dies first.
  • Ohhhhh when Han winks…Han-Solo-Wink-Gif
  • Oh my God. Where’s the next DVD?
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