One More Running Commentary: Return of the Jedi
Ok, I know you’ve all been waiting for it. After reading my genius observations of “A New Hope,” and my clever thoughts during “Empire Strikes Back,” I know you’re all on the edge of your seat waiting to read what went through my head during the final film of the trilogy So here it is – my running commentary on my favorite of them all – “Return of the Jedi.”
- Wait – there’s someone scarier than Vader?
- Whoa! Did C3PO get shinier?
- Oh my God. Is that what happened to the pigs in space!?
- Does that guy have a tail coming out of the back of his head?
- I just always want to hug C3PO.
- What happened to the green chick?
- Ok, so Luke is like full force now.
- Thaaaaaaaat’s the gold bikini that every guy dreams about.
- And thaaaaaaaat’s what happened to the green chick. Ew.
- Han’s missing this gold bikini? That really doesn’t seem fair.
- Hey look! It’s Audrey II! Feeeeeeeed me, Luke!
- Damn, Skywalker. Dat flip doe.
- Oh yay! The gang’s back together!
- “The dark path…” That’s some deep, real-life shit.
- FINALLY! Luke can stop pining away for his sister!
- Jesus, the Emperor really needs moisturizer.
- Those flying bikes look like human wasps.
- Hello, ewoks. Here’s my heart.
- Oh my God, the ewoks love C3PO as much as I do.
- This like Neverland with teddy bears. It’s a dream come true.
- These critters listening to C3PO’s stories look like me watching these movies.
- Thank God, now the Skywalker kids can stop making creepy, googly eyes.
- Between R2D2 and the ewoks, this battle is destroying all the cute!
- Finally, Han drops the L-bomb. Ass.
- I think the Emperor is… like… getting off on this fight.
- Vader’s character is way more complex than I thought.
- He’s like the most complex character in the movies.
- Damn, he just tossed the Emperor’s ass like it was nothing.
- Under that mask, Vader is white as snow. Metaphor??
- If Vader’s gone… how are there more movies? Who’s the villain?
- Sweet Jesus, I want an ewok.
After I finished this movie, I looked up the trailer for the next one. I giggled when Han said, “Chewy, we’re home.” I suppose that makes me a Star Wars nerd now.
Now I eagerly wait for the next one. Come oooooooon December 18th.