Let’s Finish This – Episode 3

Even though the other two prequels were so horrible, my determination took over and I decided to force myself through this last one. I comforted myself with the fact that this will be the last Hayden Christensen movie I will ever watch. So here are my thoughts:

  • Anyone else giggle at “Count Dooku”? Just me?
  • Ani’s hair in that headset reminds me of Lionel Richie.
  • Every expression Hayden Christensen makes creeps me out. All of them. giphy-facebook_s
  • All this CGI makes me feel like I’m watching a video game instead of a movie.
  • It took Anakin wayyyy too long to check on Obi Wan after that battle. “Yeah, he’s probs fine.”
  • “How did this happen!? We’re smarter than this!” … How I feel all the time.
  • R2D2’s little scream is the same noise I make when I’m drunk and my song comes on at the bar.

  • Padme lightly brushing her hair on the balcony – gag me. No one brushes their hair like that. When did she become a Disney cartoon princess?
  • Ani and Padme are doing the whole “I love you more” thing. I can’t take much more of this forced romance.
  • Anakin in front of the Jedi council, “this is outrageous.” Now I see where Luke gets his whiney attitude.
  • Anakin Skywalker had all the potential to be the most complex, dynamic and badass character in the whole series… but he’s just so painfully flat.
  • What is this weird ballet show thing Ani and Palpatine are watching? It looks like sperm swimming in an egg? It totally reminds me of “Look Who’s Talking.”tumblr_inline_nrlexmwD6Y1sjf2gc_1280
  • My. God. I knew Palpatine was ceeptastic.
  • Has anyone ever considered how difficult it would be to vacuum up after a wookie? I see Chewy and all I think is how I might not let him sit on my couch.
  • What is Obi Wan riding? A parrot lizard?
  • Senator Palpatine keeps hissing like he speaks Parseltongue… now I want to watch Harry Potter…
  • Wait, so this whole mess sprung from a romance? And like a really shitty romance?
  • This is like the Jedi Red Wedding!tumblr_mtc9h1NI1h1qex0dmo3_r1_500
  • Yoda falling to his knees is the most emotion I’ve felt in any prequel.
  • What is Anakin doing at the baby Jedi school?
  • What is he doing?
  • WHAT IS HE DOING!?
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    My actual reaction to Anakin’s baby butchering

  • Anakin turned dark in the time it takes me to get milk at Walgreens. The dark side moves fast – freaking full on baby killer.
  • Ahhhhhhh, Hayden’s face finally matches his character.
  • If C3PO and R2D2 were so close to Luke’s parents, why did they NEVER mention it!?!?
  • Now I see… Hayden is George’s response to his lack of puppets in the prequels.
  • Yoda and Palpatine just making a mess of that Congress hall… Who’s gonna pay for it? The damn taxpayers, that’s who.
  • Watching Anakin burn was like the only time I took Hayden’s overdramatic acting seriously. giphy
  • Come on. There’s no way there’s twins in that itty bitty bump.
  • The doctor saying “she has lost the will to live” just made me throw up in my mouth.
  • Seriously Padme, you just gave birth to two reasons to live. God, she dumb.tumblr_mrcdbnKMhq1ret39lo6_250
  • Missed opportunity to say, “Luke, I am your mother.”
  • Obi just keeps getting stuck with a bunch of kids.
  • Wait. Wait. Hold up. Leia says in “Return of the Jedi” that she remembers her mother… Ugh, George!
  • Jesus, I almost started to feel for Anakin, and then the “NOOOOOO!” happened.darth-vader-no
  • Oh… wipe 3PO – nice save, George.
  • These last 45 minutes are freaking badass.
  • Honestly, the whole prequel trilogy could have been a 45-minute Star Wars special. You didn’t need 93% of it.
  • Yeaaaaaah, I probably won’t watch these again.

 

 

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