Category Archive: Humor

Breakups: What Not to Say

I can’t think of the right words to properly describe a breakup. They make you feel sick to your stomach in that, “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten Chipotle” way. Having your heart… Continue reading

One More Running Commentary: Return of the Jedi

Ok, I know you’ve all been waiting for it. After reading my genius observations of “A New Hope,” and my clever thoughts during “Empire Strikes Back,” I know you’re all on the edge… Continue reading

40 Thoughts During “The Empire Strikes Back”

Well, obviously if I jotted own my thoughts during “A New Hope,” of course I’ll keep that pen and paper next to me during “Empire Strikes Back.” Now a few more observations from… Continue reading

An Average Girl’s Thoughts During Yoga.

Instructor: “Welcome, everyone. Today we’re going to center ourselves and focus on the self for this hour. So leave behind all the stresses and to-do lists for today and just focus on you… Continue reading

13 of the Most Ship Things That Have Ever Happened

1) These towel animals. Photo Credit: Shipmate Facebook Page 2) This man who discovered the only way to afford drinking onboard. 3) This piece of craftsmanship. CraftsmanSHIP, get it?! Photo Credit: Shipmate Facebook… Continue reading

9 Things No One Wants To Tell You About Moving to Land

Your friends and family will be so happy to hear that you’re finally leaving that crazy ship life, but there are definitely things about land life they want to keep secret for fear… Continue reading

This One Time I Was Asked to Join a Couple

This particular scenario has happened to me in my adventures in online dating, but that story is for a different day. This situation comes to you from the ship world and is a… Continue reading

8 Pickup Lines That Only Work On Ships

1) The ship life equivalent of having a fantastic car.   2) Works like a charm on drunk, hungry girls.     3) Some girls just love the zebras.   4) Let me… Continue reading

This One Time I Cock-Blocked My Friend in the Shower

This story comes to you from a fellow former crew member we’ll call “Rigo.” I am re-telling it here with a bit of my commentary. Enjoy. This is one of the funniest stories… Continue reading

Five Years

2014 is a pretty big year for this old gal. My college roommate is getting hitched. The first of my best friends is having a baby. My five year college reunion is planned… Continue reading

How Ship Life is Like Prison as told by the Ladies of ‘Orange is the New Black’

At one time or another every crew member has referred to our floating home as a prison, and on your worst days it really feels like it. Now, I know life on a… Continue reading

The 5 Hottest Sea Men. Ever.

This site wouldn’t truly be “thoughts from a landlocked sailor” without some drooling and swooning over the most amazing guys of the high seas. So for this Friday afternoon, I have compiled a… Continue reading

This One Time My Friend Fell Off the Ship

So this one time I was coming back to the ship from a day of shopping in San Juan, and a frantic youthie told me our close friend, we’ll call her Lexie, had fallen… Continue reading

New Girl and The Torture of Having an Ex Onboard

Once upon a time, I was having lunch with a fellow crew member. The new cast had signed on that morning so the staff mess was loud and full of that dancer energy. My… Continue reading

Sister! Sister!

It has been brought to my attention (rather adamantly) that I have not mentioned that I have a sister. Yes, folks there is one lucky soul out there that was fortunate enough to… Continue reading

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  • Instagram of a Landlocked Sailor

    Just a friendly reminder that the hairstyle you rock during your kids' formative years is the way they'll always picture you. Happy Father's Day to the guy with the most impressively flowing locks I've ever known. A Sunday morning at @unitytriangle sets my week off right. Great service today on recognizing the power of the Divine Masculine. Bring it to the forefront and kick butt!! 🕉🕊 Thunderstorms call for an FH Friday. #gettingorganized #gettingideas #spreadtheword #knowfh ❤️ Finally! A drink that speaks to me. #getexcidered Good. Morning. 🐕☀️💤 That's a wrap on the @fhfoundation's day on the Hill! #KnowFH #LittleHillontheHill
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    Just a girl missing the saltwater in my hair. Let's talk ships.