Breakups: What Not to Say

I can’t think of the right words to properly describe a breakup. They make you feel sick to your stomach in that, “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten Chipotle” way. Having your heart broken is humiliating, infuriating and debilitating. Without a doubt your friends will have to deal with a heartbreak or two during your... Continue Reading →


One More Running Commentary: Return of the Jedi

Ok, I know you’ve all been waiting for it. After reading my genius observations of “A New Hope,” and my clever thoughts during “Empire Strikes Back,” I know you’re all on the edge of your seat waiting to read what went through my head during the final film of the trilogy So here it is... Continue Reading →

This One Time I Was Asked to Join a Couple

This particular scenario has happened to me in my adventures in online dating, but that story is for a different day. This situation comes to you from the ship world and is a perfect example of guests completely misinterpreting the idea of an “all-inclusive vacation.” My friend, we’ll call her Hanna, was an activities staff... Continue Reading →

Five Years

2014 is a pretty big year for this old gal. My college roommate is getting hitched. The first of my best friends is having a baby. My five year college reunion is planned for October - but that's not the five year this blog is named for.  Five years ago today I was boarding my... Continue Reading →

The 5 Hottest Sea Men. Ever.

This site wouldn’t truly be “thoughts from a landlocked sailor” without some drooling and swooning over the most amazing guys of the high seas. So for this Friday afternoon, I have compiled a list of the top 5 sea men of all time. Enjoy. 5. Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) – Yes, I know… he is... Continue Reading →

This One Time My Friend Fell Off the Ship

So this one time I was coming back to the ship from a day of shopping in San Juan, and a frantic youthie told me our close friend, we’ll call her Lexie, had fallen off the ship. Lexie was our Environmental Officer onboard so part of her responsibilities included offloading garbage in a safe and environmentally... Continue Reading →

Sister! Sister!

It has been brought to my attention (rather adamantly) that I have not mentioned that I have a sister. Yes, folks there is one lucky soul out there that was fortunate enough to be born into my family. She had the distinct pleasure of growing up with me and learning from my vast wisdom. She... Continue Reading →